KNOWING...

i had a very unusual dream abt him today.
a psychiatrist wd say that my subconscious is missing him......
but i wd say,my conscious is missing him,too.
i guess,u cant shove feelings under the carpet,forever.....
deprivation has its own way,to make me take notice.
also life is toooooo short to miss him,infinitely.

loving him was tooo easy...but so was losing myself.
the easiest solution wd hv been,2 stop loving him....
but hv i ever chosen something,coz its easy?
hence the difficult part is 2 keep loving him n still trying 2 keep my head above water.
took me eternity,but i finally got myself back....
now his love is a constant companian...
not scorching heat of the sun...but just a soothing warmth of the fireplace....in the snowy,wintery outside world........giving glow,comfort...without tan.

we dont share words,dont try n prove things 2 each other.....
we just know n that knowing,gives me relief n keeps me alive.